Getting my mojo back

So according to my blog, I haven't posted since 27 April, that's ages! The lack of posting kind of goes along with feeling down and stressed and crazy for the last couple of months. Work has been super stressful, Uni really really sucked last semester, I'm struggling to get to Crossfit regularly without a car and I've just been generally quite low for ages. On top of all that, and maybe because of it,  my eating is out of control and I've put on 5kg at least lately and am feeling fat and ugly and frumpy. 

I had this whole woe is me post written on Friday, but fuck it, the only person who can change my situation is me, no one is going to swoop in and do it for me, no matter how much I might want that to be the case. 

So I'm going to sort my shit out and get my eating back on track and try to improve my self esteem and self confidence so that I can truthfully believe that I can get another job and actually apply for some when they come up. I don't imagine this will be a short process but it will be worthwhile. 

To encourage myself I've given myself a couple of prizes for reaching goals. My short term goal is to lose 5kg (essentially to be back at 75kg) and the prize for that is getting to buy a new pair of shoes, my long term goal is to lose 10kg and the prize for that is getting to spend $200 on clothes. I have also initiated a sticker system on my calendar and for every day that my eating is good, I get a 'well done' sticker and for every day I meet my exercise goals, I get a gold star. Sounds lame, but I think visual encouragement is also worth trying!

Getting a new job will be a reward in itself, so no rewards for job hunting.

So, my "rules" aren't anything particularly crazy, it's more about consistency, because that's where I am seriously lacking. Here they are though:

- Exercise 5x a week (at least 2 of these Crossfit)
- Avoid sugar (not including fruit) unless it's a super special occasion
- Only eat starchy carbs after a workout (good incentive to workout!)
- Can only drink alcohol 1 school night a week and have to drink sensibly on weekends, or at least avoid super sweet drinks
- Try portion control instead of counting calories
- Get more sleep
- If eating out, choose sensibly (don't eat out too often either)

So that's about it, nothing crazy and no particular eating plan or template. I'll see how it goes, there might be further tweaking if it doesn't seem to be working, but I honestly think that any sort of change will help at the moment.

Starting measurements

Weight: 79.9kg (I don't trust this though, my scales seem to be about +/- 3kg)
5cm above belly button: 85cm
Belly button: 91cm
5cm below belly button: 99cm

source

That weight is scary scary, that's like what I used to weigh before I started Crossfit and everything. It's still a whole lot lighter than my heaviest weight (107kg) I guess, but it's definitely not good and it really sucks because none of my clothes fit right, so I feel gross in everything. I guess feeling gross is good motivation to do this properly though. 


So there you have it, I'll try and post once a week at least to keep track of everything.